"THIS IS THE REALITY"

People who've never lived with abuse have a hard time understanding why someone would stay. They think they have all the answers. "I'd just leave. I wouldn't put up with that. Etc..." Until they've walked a mile in someone else's reality, they'd do better to hold their tongue. Victims stay for a variety of reasons: fear of retaliation, the unknown, being alone. They may think the situation is the best there's going to be. They may believe they deserve it. They may be embarassed to admit to family and friends that their personal lives are hell. They may not have the resources and support system needed to leave. It may be a combination of any and all of the above. The important thing is, don't ever blame the victim! When and if they find the strength and courage to make that step, be supportive. If it's you living through this hell, when you find your strength, God bless you! I pray that someone is there for you as support and that you can lean on them. It's not easy. I did a lot of it on my own. All I can say is be good to yourself, love yourself, be strong! When your mind starts drifting back to your old life, dwelling on the good times, shut it down! Commit yourself to at least 2 years of being free. Make it about yourself. Your children if you have any. If you make it through 2 years of a healing journey, it will be easier. I promise you. Not to say that will magically be the end. No, there will still be recovery time to put in. However, by the end of 2 years, the past will be far enough in your rearview that you will be able to carry on with you and yours. The journey to a much better future will be closer than the hell you left behind. I wish you well. Happiness and respect! You are worth it. Life is too short. You can be a survivor! Peace and hugs, Lynn