"MY HEALING JOURNEY"

As each day passes, I am more grateful and more proud. I look back on what I've endured. What I've overcome. What I've learned along the way. I accept and own my mistakes and my choices. I forgive myself for putting up with abusive behavior. For accepting that which should never be accepted by ANYONE! With every test and challenge I've faced and overcome since 9-15-2011, I've come to realize I am strong! Stronger than I ever realized or gave myself credit for. That is empowering!

"That which does not kill us, makes us Stronger.-Friedrich Nietzsche"

So very, very true! More than a few times, since I survived William Connearney's aka William Seamus McDonald's attempt to crush my windpipe with his thumbs in May 2011, I've questioned how, why? I'm so very grateful to be alive. However, I don't truly know how it happened! I couldn't get his hands off my neck that morning. I'd given up, accepted my impending death, and began to say goodbye to loved ones in my head. When the blackness began to invade my brain some hidden strength came from within, and with one last effort, I was able to breathe! Recently, I've found my purpose and in doing so, have answered my own questions. This blog was the first step in taking my voice back and towards healing. Starting a supportive community for others leaving, living, recovering from toxicity is my final step. If I can inspire, support, encourage one person to seek a happier, healthier future for themselves, I'm good with that! These days, I know my strengths and my weaknesses. I can and will set firm boundaries. I will NEVER allow any kind of abuse in my life AGAIN! I don't know what my future will hold however, I know 100% it will hold better than what I allowed in my past. Although, I'm not ready/looking for a relationship any time soon, If and when it happens, I know it will be RIGHT for me!

"THE TRUTH IS THE TRUTH"

***WARNING STRONG LANGUAGE*** In all the years that Bill Connearney and I were together, he never took responsibility for his words or behavior. In Bill's world, there's no owning or apologizing. Instead apparently, you deny that it ever happened. Words of denial can rewrite the past. Wow! If it only were that easy! There's a few things I'd erase from my history if it only worked that way. I however, live in a true reality. I own my screw ups and bad choices. Good and bad, my past is my past. I recently was told Bill denied ever choking me. Accordingly, he never put his hands around my throat. Bill Connearney, you're a F@CKING scumbag LIAR! I was severely depressed. Devestated over the loss of MY girl. You were tired of me crying and grieving. You were telling me to leave at 2:30 in the morning. I was begging at least 5x for you to leave me alone. I tried to get a cigarette and go out onto the balcony to get away from you. When I was in the kitchen you wrapped your hands around my throat and tried to crush my windpipe with your thumbs! You took me to the floor and I tried to kick up at you, attempting to breathe. That's when you knelt on my right knee, forced it the wrong way into the floor, tearing my ACL and Meniscus. You came very close to taking my life. If I hadn't dug my nails into you out of desperation, I'd be dead! You know it, and I know it! You're a dirty F@CKING liar! The fact that you're lying about it, doesn't change it! Under penalty of Perjury and lawsuit, I declare the following to be the absolute truth! BILL CONNEARNEY TRIED TO KILL ME IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS OF MAY 5, 2011. He put his hands around my throat and attempted to crush my windpipe with his thumbs! He caused a horrible injury to my leg that took months to heal. The only reason I'm alive is my will to live kicked in at the last moment. I dug my nails into him and wouldn't let go. Bill Connearney you're an abusive, lying, scumbag, waste of life, attempted murderer! We reap what we sow. The time is coming very, very soon! Burn in hell!