"WHAT KIND OF JUSTICE?"

After 2 years of hell, homelessness, couch surfing, motel living, the aftermath of Bills evil bullshit, my life may have turned a corner! I recently answered an ad offering free rent and utilities in exchange for being home 5x a week from 9;00pm-7;30am. I went last week to meet the parent and to see the travel trailer i would live in. He was very nice. The trailer is in great shape and would make a great, quiet, more than adequate home for Minnie and I. The position is a dream come true as it leaves my days free to attend school. I'm thrilled at the thought that I have made it through the fires of hell and optimistic for the first time in a long, long time. Then last night, the other shoe dropped. During a conversation about moving in, background check was brought up. I 100% expected it. After all, the well being of 3 young children is involved. I expect nothing less of a responsible parent. The thing that gets me is, I am forced to put my dirty laundry on the table and defend myself against my abuser! I am meeting him on Friday and plan to completely disclose it all. I will bring my medical records, my statement to the DA, Bills arrest record, I also will provide the name and number of my former employer who entrusted me with the care of her children for nearly 10 years, and character references. I'm praying it will be enough. I take responsibility for my decisions and actions over the past 2 years. I get it, I disobeyed a Judges order. But, it's hard to get past the fact there shouldn't be a FRUCKING order AT ALL! As a true survivor of Domestic Violence, I feel his "order of protection" based on nothing but, lies is a slap in the face to true victims/survivors of DV everywhere! Looking back, I'm ashamed that I protected him even after he tried to take my life in the early morning hours of 5/5/2011. I minimized what had happened to the police. I am very proud that were it to happen today, his ass would rot in prison for a very long time! Thanks to a wonderful counselor and a long journey of self work and healing, I know that NO ONE will EVER put their hands on me again and walk free. I do have a lingering disgust for the court system overall. Judge Brown who, admittedly did come to see the real Bill Connearney over time. He was very fair to me by the end of the divorce. However, he heard Bill admit on the stand, under oath during the divorce trial on 1/4/13 that he(Bill) had in fact broken the law re; the secret, illegal recording used by himself in the same courtroom in Feb 2012 to obtain his bullshit r.o. He also heard Bill admit the recording had been more than a year old at the time. After I finally got Bill to admit the truth re: the facts of that recording Judge Brown changed the subject! Ignoring what had taken me at least 20 mins to finally get Bill to admit! It boggles my mind that a Judge hears that an order he granted was based on lies and was in fact illegally obtained, yet that means nothing to him? How freaking nuts is that? Also, in Feb 2012 when my leg was finally on a road to recovery, the limp had disappeared, I could finally bend my knee, crutches/pain were gone, etc... I'd finally begun meds and therapy for my depression, it was time to visit the DA at the Vista CA court house. I needed to correct the wrong I'd done to myself in May of 2011. I'd protected Bill from the legal consequences of his attempt to take my life. He'd attempted to kill me, had caused considerable pain, injury, and cost to myself. It took a good part of 2011 to recover/heal from his attack. I wrote out a truthful account of what had happened in the early morning hours of 5/5/2011. Disclosing that he'd threatened me with a knife when I finally got free of him strangling me. I also mentioned that he'd punched me in the face 3x in September 2009 blackening my eyes for 12 days. Her response? NOTHING! This woman, who is supposed to protect the rights of the people and uphold the law DID NOTHING! So an attempted murderer walks free! It's all bullshit and I'm a true testimony that sometimes the system fails and justice DOES NOT EXIST!

"DECEIT, LIES, ABUSE, VIA BILL CONNEARNEY"

Jan 2011 I filed for divorce and for a support order. I was desperately trying to get my girl back and doing whatever the wrecker had told me towards that end. It was all for nothing. I found out later, the bitch already had her plan in place. She was a two faced backstabbing bitch who didn't have the decency to be honest and up front with me. Anyways, that's all water under the bridge and covered elsewhere so, back to Bill. In early Feb 2011 I was granted an order of support. Bill was stunned! I actually thought he was going to cry. He'd been sure I'd be turned down. It was obvious he'd never considered for a moment that I'd get a judgement. That night he called me and says, "look there's no way I can afford to pay you and my rent. Come move in, we'll cancel the divorce, and work together to try and get Ahmi back. I'll consider the $1599. room and board." Although, there was a part of me that knew it wasn't a good idea. I'd just lost her officially in court about a week earlier. I had a lot of resentment towards Bill re: the loss. I feared the anger and resentment would overtake me eventually. Resulting in an explosive situation. There was another side of me that thought, maybe it would help to be around someone who knew and (supposedly) loved her. I was slipping into the darkest cave of depression by this time. The grief was overwhelming. I desperately needed someone to validate and understand my pain. So, in the end, I let him talk me into it. His understanding and support lasted all of 2 weeks! I was slipping deeper and deeper into a black hole. I couldn't shower, eat, sleep. All I could do was cry. I wondered often, how the hell the tears continued to fall. Anyways, Bills supportive statement? "Suck it up and move on!" Pretty much a cold hearted bastard right? Believe it or not, he was just getting started! I would find out a year later, that he secretly recorded a conversation that took place right after I moved in. On the tape I'm crying and repeating over and over, "please get my baby back..." Bill is feeding me questions, "what are you going to do if I don't? What was it you said? Did you say you'd shoot me in the head?" I'd just suffered the devastating loss of my girl and this devious, piece of shit is exploiting my grief, putting words in my mouth, secretly recording the conversation! This is the tape he'd play more than a year later in court to get his bullshit order of protection! Anyways, during this same time period he began bugging me about canceling the papers. Something I kept putting off. Turns out that was the smartest decision on my part. Looking back, I have no doubt whatsoever that had I cancelled those papers, he'd have been at the courthouse the day after refiling as the petitioner! It drove him up the wall that I was the petitioner and not him. Bill always wants to be in control. It stuck in his gut that he had to file as Respondent. No matter if he was filing an action or answering mine. He even wrote it the wrong way on one set of papers and the court made him correct it. Knowing him like I do, that absolutely was very hard for him to swallow! For the first time in 23 years, I was in the drivers seat. He wasn't happy about it. Just how pissed off he was would soon be revealed. His attempt to kill me was coming soon. I'm sure however, even before that, right from the start. He asked me to move in and already had a plan in mind to destroy me. All because I had the nerve to seek an order of support from the court and worst of all, it was granted!

"THE TRUTH IS THE TRUTH"

***WARNING STRONG LANGUAGE*** In all the years that Bill Connearney and I were together, he never took responsibility for his words or behavior. In Bill's world, there's no owning or apologizing. Instead apparently, you deny that it ever happened. Words of denial can rewrite the past. Wow! If it only were that easy! There's a few things I'd erase from my history if it only worked that way. I however, live in a true reality. I own my screw ups and bad choices. Good and bad, my past is my past. I recently was told Bill denied ever choking me. Accordingly, he never put his hands around my throat. Bill Connearney, you're a F@CKING scumbag LIAR! I was severely depressed. Devestated over the loss of MY girl. You were tired of me crying and grieving. You were telling me to leave at 2:30 in the morning. I was begging at least 5x for you to leave me alone. I tried to get a cigarette and go out onto the balcony to get away from you. When I was in the kitchen you wrapped your hands around my throat and tried to crush my windpipe with your thumbs! You took me to the floor and I tried to kick up at you, attempting to breathe. That's when you knelt on my right knee, forced it the wrong way into the floor, tearing my ACL and Meniscus. You came very close to taking my life. If I hadn't dug my nails into you out of desperation, I'd be dead! You know it, and I know it! You're a dirty F@CKING liar! The fact that you're lying about it, doesn't change it! Under penalty of Perjury and lawsuit, I declare the following to be the absolute truth! BILL CONNEARNEY TRIED TO KILL ME IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS OF MAY 5, 2011. He put his hands around my throat and attempted to crush my windpipe with his thumbs! He caused a horrible injury to my leg that took months to heal. The only reason I'm alive is my will to live kicked in at the last moment. I dug my nails into him and wouldn't let go. Bill Connearney you're an abusive, lying, scumbag, waste of life, attempted murderer! We reap what we sow. The time is coming very, very soon! Burn in hell!