"WHAT KIND OF JUSTICE?"

After 2 years of hell, homelessness, couch surfing, motel living, the aftermath of Bills evil bullshit, my life may have turned a corner! I recently answered an ad offering free rent and utilities in exchange for being home 5x a week from 9;00pm-7;30am. I went last week to meet the parent and to see the travel trailer i would live in. He was very nice. The trailer is in great shape and would make a great, quiet, more than adequate home for Minnie and I. The position is a dream come true as it leaves my days free to attend school. I'm thrilled at the thought that I have made it through the fires of hell and optimistic for the first time in a long, long time. Then last night, the other shoe dropped. During a conversation about moving in, background check was brought up. I 100% expected it. After all, the well being of 3 young children is involved. I expect nothing less of a responsible parent. The thing that gets me is, I am forced to put my dirty laundry on the table and defend myself against my abuser! I am meeting him on Friday and plan to completely disclose it all. I will bring my medical records, my statement to the DA, Bills arrest record, I also will provide the name and number of my former employer who entrusted me with the care of her children for nearly 10 years, and character references. I'm praying it will be enough. I take responsibility for my decisions and actions over the past 2 years. I get it, I disobeyed a Judges order. But, it's hard to get past the fact there shouldn't be a FRUCKING order AT ALL! As a true survivor of Domestic Violence, I feel his "order of protection" based on nothing but, lies is a slap in the face to true victims/survivors of DV everywhere! Looking back, I'm ashamed that I protected him even after he tried to take my life in the early morning hours of 5/5/2011. I minimized what had happened to the police. I am very proud that were it to happen today, his ass would rot in prison for a very long time! Thanks to a wonderful counselor and a long journey of self work and healing, I know that NO ONE will EVER put their hands on me again and walk free. I do have a lingering disgust for the court system overall. Judge Brown who, admittedly did come to see the real Bill Connearney over time. He was very fair to me by the end of the divorce. However, he heard Bill admit on the stand, under oath during the divorce trial on 1/4/13 that he(Bill) had in fact broken the law re; the secret, illegal recording used by himself in the same courtroom in Feb 2012 to obtain his bullshit r.o. He also heard Bill admit the recording had been more than a year old at the time. After I finally got Bill to admit the truth re: the facts of that recording Judge Brown changed the subject! Ignoring what had taken me at least 20 mins to finally get Bill to admit! It boggles my mind that a Judge hears that an order he granted was based on lies and was in fact illegally obtained, yet that means nothing to him? How freaking nuts is that? Also, in Feb 2012 when my leg was finally on a road to recovery, the limp had disappeared, I could finally bend my knee, crutches/pain were gone, etc... I'd finally begun meds and therapy for my depression, it was time to visit the DA at the Vista CA court house. I needed to correct the wrong I'd done to myself in May of 2011. I'd protected Bill from the legal consequences of his attempt to take my life. He'd attempted to kill me, had caused considerable pain, injury, and cost to myself. It took a good part of 2011 to recover/heal from his attack. I wrote out a truthful account of what had happened in the early morning hours of 5/5/2011. Disclosing that he'd threatened me with a knife when I finally got free of him strangling me. I also mentioned that he'd punched me in the face 3x in September 2009 blackening my eyes for 12 days. Her response? NOTHING! This woman, who is supposed to protect the rights of the people and uphold the law DID NOTHING! So an attempted murderer walks free! It's all bullshit and I'm a true testimony that sometimes the system fails and justice DOES NOT EXIST!