"WHAT KIND OF JUSTICE?"

After 2 years of hell, homelessness, couch surfing, motel living, the aftermath of Bills evil bullshit, my life may have turned a corner! I recently answered an ad offering free rent and utilities in exchange for being home 5x a week from 9;00pm-7;30am. I went last week to meet the parent and to see the travel trailer i would live in. He was very nice. The trailer is in great shape and would make a great, quiet, more than adequate home for Minnie and I. The position is a dream come true as it leaves my days free to attend school. I'm thrilled at the thought that I have made it through the fires of hell and optimistic for the first time in a long, long time. Then last night, the other shoe dropped. During a conversation about moving in, background check was brought up. I 100% expected it. After all, the well being of 3 young children is involved. I expect nothing less of a responsible parent. The thing that gets me is, I am forced to put my dirty laundry on the table and defend myself against my abuser! I am meeting him on Friday and plan to completely disclose it all. I will bring my medical records, my statement to the DA, Bills arrest record, I also will provide the name and number of my former employer who entrusted me with the care of her children for nearly 10 years, and character references. I'm praying it will be enough. I take responsibility for my decisions and actions over the past 2 years. I get it, I disobeyed a Judges order. But, it's hard to get past the fact there shouldn't be a FRUCKING order AT ALL! As a true survivor of Domestic Violence, I feel his "order of protection" based on nothing but, lies is a slap in the face to true victims/survivors of DV everywhere! Looking back, I'm ashamed that I protected him even after he tried to take my life in the early morning hours of 5/5/2011. I minimized what had happened to the police. I am very proud that were it to happen today, his ass would rot in prison for a very long time! Thanks to a wonderful counselor and a long journey of self work and healing, I know that NO ONE will EVER put their hands on me again and walk free. I do have a lingering disgust for the court system overall. Judge Brown who, admittedly did come to see the real Bill Connearney over time. He was very fair to me by the end of the divorce. However, he heard Bill admit on the stand, under oath during the divorce trial on 1/4/13 that he(Bill) had in fact broken the law re; the secret, illegal recording used by himself in the same courtroom in Feb 2012 to obtain his bullshit r.o. He also heard Bill admit the recording had been more than a year old at the time. After I finally got Bill to admit the truth re: the facts of that recording Judge Brown changed the subject! Ignoring what had taken me at least 20 mins to finally get Bill to admit! It boggles my mind that a Judge hears that an order he granted was based on lies and was in fact illegally obtained, yet that means nothing to him? How freaking nuts is that? Also, in Feb 2012 when my leg was finally on a road to recovery, the limp had disappeared, I could finally bend my knee, crutches/pain were gone, etc... I'd finally begun meds and therapy for my depression, it was time to visit the DA at the Vista CA court house. I needed to correct the wrong I'd done to myself in May of 2011. I'd protected Bill from the legal consequences of his attempt to take my life. He'd attempted to kill me, had caused considerable pain, injury, and cost to myself. It took a good part of 2011 to recover/heal from his attack. I wrote out a truthful account of what had happened in the early morning hours of 5/5/2011. Disclosing that he'd threatened me with a knife when I finally got free of him strangling me. I also mentioned that he'd punched me in the face 3x in September 2009 blackening my eyes for 12 days. Her response? NOTHING! This woman, who is supposed to protect the rights of the people and uphold the law DID NOTHING! So an attempted murderer walks free! It's all bullshit and I'm a true testimony that sometimes the system fails and justice DOES NOT EXIST!

"EMOTIONAL VAMPIRE"

January 9th 2013, I'd spent a good part of that day babysitting a friends 2 young children. I hadn't felt that great when I woke up that morning. By the evening, I was very sick with the flu I'd caught from the baby. High fever, body aches, chills, and a head that felt too heavy and big for my body. I couldn't stand the thought of sleeping in my car as sick as I was. I made the fateful decision to beg Bill Connearney for even a small part of the thousands that he owed me. At the time, he was acting very much like a prick re: paying me what he'd been told to by the Judge. However, still the optimist back then, I called him and explained how sick I was. I beg him for just enough to get a hotel room so I can lay down on a bed. ***Side note*** I found out recently that he totally lied on FB. Posting on his wall that I'd gone to his apartment, was screaming, banging his door, etc... Unequivocally, BULL SHIT!! I never went near his apartment that night! May I be struck down dead! I suppose the truth; that I'd called begging him for something of the money that he owed me. That I was very sick with the flu, would have exposed him as the A$$hole that he is. On the phone he say's,"Okay let me put some clothes on and I'll be there." I was still very much the idiot! Because next thing I know, the cops are behind my car (I was parked in a parking lot of a hotel I'd stayed at before). Now, I admit I did a very stupid thing. I put a pair of scissors to my throat and said I'd rather die than go to jail. Long story short, while one of the frucking pigs talked and pretended to be sympathetic to me, they busted out my front windows and tasered me. I get it, threatening your life in front of the cops isn't the smart thing to do. However, what kind of a complete scumbag piece of shit do you have to be to do what he did? All I wanted was some of my money so I could lie down on a bed. Yet, he sets me up and then lies about the whole incident on Facebook! Then, get this one, he has the balls to say I was released after serving 10 days of a 4 month sentence and that I'D BEEN TOLD TO ATTEND 52 WEEKS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE CLASSES!! Complete and utter BULLSHIT! 1st of all, I served 10 days as a violation. For calling him. 2nd of all, I've never been told to take DV classes! I have 52 weeks of counseling in order to heal myself. To explore why I allowed him to treat me so badly. Hopefully to avoid allowing anyone to treat me the way he did again. After all, I'm not the one who was arrested on a domestic violence charge. That would be Bill! I thought it was pathetic for him to even have the nerve to say that. He can lie all he wants, he knows somewhere inside where he hides the truth, that he's the abuser. He's also a better liar than I am. The only reason he has that stupid paper in the 1st place is because he's a great liar. He plays a great victim! His performances are Oscar worthy! "Oh, I'm such a good guy and she's such a bitch. Poor me! Boohoo!" He's so fake. The more I see from a distance, the more I realize, he's a nasty, mean, evil bastard! I'm so much better off without his poison in my life. I realize more every day that he completely sucked everything out of me. Everything always revolved around him. His wants, his needs, his moods, etc... He's an emotional vampire! I never realized how damaging it was until I was away from him.

"FORGIVENESS AND MOVING ON"

A friend who's opinion I do value and respect, thinks I should forget about filing a civil suit against Bill. That it's time to put it behind me and move on. I respect her opinion. However, this time it's wrong. I need to do this last thing. Over the past, nearly 3 years, Bill has; (1) Cost me my baby love. A large chunk of my heart and soul were lost in January 2011. He may have blown it all off."Sucked it up and moved on," I love her! I don't have the gift of throwing away people and pets who aren't convenient in the moment. Unlike Bill Connearney I don't value money above all else. (2) He exploited my devastating pain and grief. He secretly, illegally recorded a conversation in which he put words in my mouth, basically entrapping me. In normal circumstances I never would have said I'd shoot him in the head. He harassed me on that tape. Repeating himself over and over until he got me to agree with him. (3) Then he got away with trying to kill me. He left me with a horrible injury that he never took responsibility for. In fact over time, he changed his reality to where, he had nothing to do with it! I WENT TO FRUCKING JAIL! Never been in trouble until the bastard stood up in court and lied through his teeth! I can't work in my field because of him! No much as I love my friend, he still needs a monetary lesson that will follow him to the grave! He's an evil, selfish, abusive, vindictive bastard. Bill Connearney needs to pay in some way for the wrong he's done! It's the principal of everything. I'm going for $50,000 and the bastard is lucky I'm holding myself back! In CA, if you secretly record someone and then use it in court against them, under state law, you're liable for any and all damages! No suing him will be the end. I need him to be punished by the court. He's put me through hell. Systematically tried to destroy me. The one thing he cares about is his wallet. I want justice in front of the court. I deserve it! The bastard put his hands on me on 3 different occasions. The last 2 times, he caused horrible, devastating injuries. Yet, he lies and get's a restraining order? Bullshit! He needs to pay restitution for what he's done. I'm confident the court will see it my way. Once I get a judgement that will hang over his head the rest of his life, I'll forgive and forget. The S.O.B has never shown any remorse, maturity, or fairness. Why the hell should I continue to show him any? From the beginning I tried to act like an adult and just wanted things to be fairly split. Bill Connearney is the one who wouldn't have it. Well as the saying goes,"He made his bed, let him lie in it!"

"CONTROLLING, SELFISH, STUBBORN"

I still remember Bill coming home one day and telling me we were moving to Escondido. A city about 45 minutes inland and to the north of San Diego. I understood that moving was something we needed to discuss/seriously consider. He was the only one working full time at the moment as I was home with Ahmi. I planned (and he'd agreed) that I'd stay home until she started school. Anyways, although I knew it and was open to discussing it, Bill wasn't having a discussion. "I'm the only one working. That's where my company is. That's where I'm looking." Never mind that it was his fault re: the mountain of debt he was carrying on his back. That he'd charged most of it on his own. Forget that Ahmi and I had activities and classes most days during the week in San Diego. So what if I didn't want to move to/live in Escondido. He'd made up his mind. There was no compromise. No discussion. Just like it had always been, it was Dictator Bill Connearney telling me how it was going to be. Something welled up inside of me and I refused to follow this time. I dug my heels in and told him "no way. We're not moving." I'd simply reached the end of my rope as far as him always telling me what we were going to do. I finally got sick and tired of his bullying. Little did I know, he still planned on having his way. It was only a few months later that he announced he was leaving me. True Bill Connearney attitude. He'd always choose having his own way over any rational, mature discussion. Not to say it wasn't for the best in the long run. I mean by that time, I completely planned to divorce his ass and move back to Boston. I was selfish too. I simply wanted Ahmi's adoption to be finalized. I hoped we could split once she was safely out of the system. However, Bill who supposedly, "loved her so much." Apparently didn't love her enough and he refused to give it just a few more months until that could happen. Yet, he "loved her so much."

"OH NO, OH NO, BACK TO COURT WE GO"

Strange, somehow I had thought when the divorce was final, we would be. Not so grasshopper. Seems Bill is never going to follow the courts orders willingly in regard to spousal support. That's why he's actively trying to trash me in the Massachusetts courts now that California courts have caught on to him! It's ridiculous that the sob thinks he's above the law! I've got news for him, I'm not giving up. About to file contempt charges and a small claims case against him. It sucks that I have to once again take up the courts time however, I won't give up! Bill is so freaking delusional! He seems to feel he can do whatever the hell he wants! He's tried and failed four times to have my spousal support cut off. This last time the Judge told him it wasn't going to happen. That he'd followed the guide lines and that was that. "Pay her" were his exact words. Bill Connearney has once again blown him off and it appears he has no intention of following the judges orders. Well time to instigate contempt charges. Maybe if his ass goes to jail, it will finally sink in!
p.s. If you're dating and or thinking about dating someone named Bill Connearney? If you goggled his name and you're now reading this wondering if he's one and the same? If he's covered with tattoos. If he has a brother Paul, 2 sisters Jean and Nancy, it's a match! Woman to woman, RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN! He may act charming and all that, IT'S ALL A LIE! He's an evil. selfish bastard! Beware! Condolences and best of luck to you!

"YOU WRECKED MY LIFE"

Those were the last words Bill said to me after court on July 8th. A true Narcissistic typical Bill Connearney statement! Let's review; My precious girl had been placed with the substitutes. I did cover up the Domestic Violence when he punched me in the face 3x. blackening my eyes for 12 days. I take full responsibility of hiding that for 15 months. However, it doesn't take freaking rocket science to figure out, IT NEVER SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED IN THE FIRST PLACE!! To make it worse, when the wreckers asked him about it, the PUSSY lied! That's right Bill Connearney lied! He claimed we'd had an argument, he'd dropped me off, when he came home later, I had the injury to my face! I'd love to know the scenario where I could possibly injure myself so severely? We're talking thick black and purple bruising the whole top half of my face! I looked like Rocky Balboa! So, I lost my heart (Ahmi), She went through traumatic emotional upheaval that will possibly effect her the rest of her life. The bastard tried to kill me. Left me with a devastating injury to my leg that took months to heal. Lied to the court, faked evidence, obtained a protective order that he's used as a tool to control, abuse, and manipulate. He's put me in frucking jail just because he's an evil, vindictive bastard. I've been homeless. I'm unable to work in the field I love due to his paper of fraud. I have a frucking record because of him. Yet, I wrecked his life? Just goes to show what a egotistical, selfish, evil, abusive bastard he is! God, how could I have put up with his sorry ass for so many years? What a son of a bitch he is! I'm grateful that I have finally woken up. The piece of crap was always on my case re: the black depression I fell into for a year after losing Ahmi. Since he'd cancelled my health insurance as of 1/1/11 I had no resources to seek help. If you know anything about depression, the longer you wait to get help, the worse it gets. Anyways, the prick had the attitude that I,"should suck it up and move on." As if crying 24/7 was a choice I made or something I enjoyed! Anyways, now that I'm in remission, I thank God everyday that Depression is treatable w/ meds and therapy. Personality defects like Narcissism, no hope/help. I'd much rather be depressed! The pitiful thing to me is, he isn't capable of understanding that there's something wrong with him. That's sad and creepy! I say, "Fuck narcissists! They'll bring nothing good to your life!" Unless you don't mind putting their wants and needs above your own 100% of the time. If you don't mind being minimized and dismissed. If you want to always be second class in the relationship, avoid narcissists like the Black Plague!

VINDICTIVE EVILNESS

There's a lot to the story behind this posting. I'm going to try to tell it all without confusion. Please bear with me. In late summer of 2010, soon after Bill had moved out, I played a trick involving our truck. One afternoon, A friend and I drove to Bill's apartment complex and using my key, I drove the truck back to San Diego and parked it down the street from the house. Bill obviously was not happy. He tried to report me to the police for STEALING the truck. Too bad for him; (1) I had a key. In CA, if you have a key, it's assumed you have permission to be in possession of said vehicle. (2) I was still his wife and it was community property. Bottom line they wouldn't get involved. He found it almost immediately and in fact took it back within days. However, he kept a club on it after that.
Sometime around December of that year, he made his first attempt at obtaining a restraining order. The Judge at that time was slightly smarter than the one who came after. After hearing Bills weak, no basis case, he instead ordered a 4 month emotional cool off period. For both of us! Less than 2 months later, Bill was enraged when this same judge granted my spousal support order. I believe he had ulterior motives when he phoned soon after I was granted the temp. order. He asked me to move in to his apartment saying, "let's try to save our marriage." I believe in hindsight he already had a other ideas. He already planned to set me up or to try and discredit me. Hoping to get out of paying me the ordered support. It was early Feb. 2011 I was devastated re: the loss of Ahmi. I was falling deeper into the blackest cave of depression with each passing day. It was during this 1st month that Bill secretly recorded me. On the tape, which he'd use the following Feb to obtain his fake r.o., I'm crying and mostly repeating over and over,"get my baby back. Please just get my baby back." While he's trying to entrap me by asking over and over,"what will you do to me? Shoot me in the head? I guess at the end I finally agree with him. Not only would the bastard use it 12 months later, he lied in court and presented it as recent.
In the beginning he asked nearly everyday if I'd gone and cancelled the divorce papers. I've no doubt he simply wanted to be the petitioner. I'm guessing in his messed up logic, that was a way out of paying me. In Bill Connearney's mind, I didn't deserve anything. Even though I worked the majority of the marriage and he insisted on half of whatever I took home, I was paying rent not contributing to the household. That's how the Asshole referred to my money, as rent! Whenever I'd voice an opinion re: the mountain of debt he kept over our head, he'd say the same thing. "Don't worry about it. I pay the bills. Just pay your rent." Too bad the judge didn't see it that way, seeing as half the value of said debt came out of my final property division! Of course, during the summer of 2011, after he tried to kill me, when I was unable to work, he missed my money! Being the bitch that I can be, I asked him several times, ”You've always minimized my monetary contribution. Now that you don't have it, how's that working out for you?" So many years the bastard blew off anything I had to say re: finances. I felt minimized, like I was nothing. So, yes I admit there was a petty satisfaction in rubbing that in his face. In fact, it wasn't working out for him at all.
He was getting more pissed off by the day. In true Bill Connearney style as summer passed, he somehow rewrote his role/responsibility re: my injury. The fact that I was laid up, had limited mobility for months, was unable to get proper medical care, and had lost my job opportunity working as a teacher for HeadStart became choices I made. Must be nice to be so delusional. Don't like something in your history? Regret something you've done? Black it out! Deny, deny, deny. Over time, in your own mind at least, it will become as you wish, a fantasy that feels better than the cold hard truth of reality. Even the pain I went through, the horrendous, slow recovery, was an act!! Anyone reading this who's torn their ACL or Meniscus will know the pain I'm talking about. Now, imagine, no pain meds, no physical therapy, and middle age. A situation I'd never wish on anyone. Because of my age, it's healed as well as it ever will! I try not to dwell on the pain I'm going to feel 10-15 years from now.
Fast forward to Feb 2012. I was homeless living in my car. Even though the SOB had cashed out one of the retirement accounts by this time. He never said a word nor offered me any of the money. Which by the way, was half mine! I'd park and hang out somewhere near his apartment a lot of the time. It was gated so I felt pretty safe. Well, one night while he was at the bar, I noticed the club wasn't on the steering wheel. Since my car was very low on gas, I decided I just might drive the truck. When he came home and saw me sitting in it, he freaked. First thing he asked,"How'd you get the club off?" When I told him he'd left it off, he was mad at himself. So he invites me to walk the dogs and after locking the club in the trunk of my car, I do. No big deal we walk them, talking the whole time. small talk but, no big deal, no acrimony. The next day it's a miserable rainy day. The kind of day that we don't see often in Southern CA. He comes home and gave me some leftover carne asada fries from 2 days before, Super Bowl Sunday. Next thing I know the cops are there to serve me with a temporary r.o.! The rotten piece of shit had gone to court, claiming to be in fear of me! First of all, anyone who knows us, would know what a crock of crap that is! He outweighs me by 100lbs and benches 250+. I suppose he couldn't tell the truth however. "Your honor, I don't want her taking my truck" wouldn't have quite the response he was looking for!
I foolishly never filed a response. I thought back to the year before, knowing there was no valid reason for him to be granted a r.o. I believed he'd once again be denied. Little did I know, Bill was planning for things to get very, very dirty! He lied to the judge, manufactured evidence and guess what his grand finale was? The secret tape he'd recorded the year before. I guess the judge was drunk or on drugs that day. He accepted that tape as evidence even though there was no time stamp AT ALL!! He overruled my objection when I brought that to his attention. Yet, my evidence of the DV and Bills arrest from May 2011 were deemed too old!! So the prick got what he wanted. Finally he had a piece of paper that helped him feel more in control. It's a severe travesty and a slap in the face to all those who really are affected by Domestic Violence. That's just one example of his vindictive evilness!

"LIAR, LIAR PANTS ON FIRE"

9:00 on July 8th once again back to court. My new home away from home. I checked in with the bailiff, saw "phone appearance" next to Bill's name and took a seat with my friend. We sat through the first couple of cases which took about an hour or so. Right before the morning recess I ran out to my friends car to get something I'd left in my purse. License in hand I quietly reentered the room for the last 10 minutes until recess. I look over my right shoulder to check the time and who do I see sitting in the far corner, of the last row? You guessed it, Bill! To say I was surprised would be a major understatement! Anyways, we were called pretty quick after the 20 minute recess. Since I always get to speak first and knowing ahead of time what Bill planned on presenting to the court, I began by cutting him off at the gate. Have to hand it to him. He managed to pull a few things out of his butt. He told the court, among other things, 1) I'd interfered in his relationship with his "fiancé" causing her to break things off with him. My answer to this was the Gods honest truth. That we'd exchanged emails re: incidents of domestic violence between Bill and I, that her relatives had brought to her attention because of items they'd found on the internet. It seems her ex husband had also tried to kill her and she was fearful of becoming involved with a potentially violent man again. (Good reason). I told the court straight out, I'd only answered questions she had re: Bill and what he'd done to me. She had a right to know the truth of what she was getting into. Not my fault he'd lied to her! As a survivor of DV she saw quite plainly his tendency to minimize and deny everything. She made her own decisions after asking questions, hearing and weighing both sides of the story. Difference was, I could back everything I told her with documents. Also, I didn't whitewash anything or paint myself as a saint! Simply told her the Gods honest truth! 2) That my blog was making it difficult for him to obtain employment. This was my chance to inform the court about Ricoh. How I'd put 2 and 2 together, figured out he went to work for them. How I'd sent the wage assignment in May only to learn 6 days later, the company pc showed him as a former employee! I insinuated to the Judge that he'd quit the new job specifically to escape the order. Funny that he never denied this in court! 3) That I'd agreed to a reduction in the former support order rather than him selling the Chrysler, (total Bill Connearney BS at it's finest). Although he cashed out one of the retirement accounts during the divorce, under California law, this was illegal, he knew it, ignored it, and during our trial was reprimanded by the Judge. It goes w/out saying, I never agreed to any such deal, and it would have been illegal to sell the car at that stage anyways! My response to this,"your honor, I don't understand why Mr. Connearney continues to bring up the car. The car was a separate issue unrelated to support and has been dealt with by this court. He asked the court (for the 4th time) to cut off my spousal support. Using the same old tired line,"She was instructed by this court to give me 5 job contacts a week and to date I haven't received one." I thought this was extremely ballsy of him! Considering the letter I'd received on April 17th re: his "kidney malfunction" when he cut off my court ordered support and bailed to MA. Since he was trying his hardest to fall off the radar screen and avoid court orders, where the hell was I to mail these contacts? The Twilight Zone post office? End story, the court believed his bull$hit lie re: his unemployment. He got a break in the amount of arrearages and was ordered by the Judge to turn in 10 job contacts a week to the court and to inform me within 48 hours of becoming employed! The thing is, I know Bill Connearney better than the court! I didn't for a moment believe he drove cross country just for the hearing. This is what he claimed in court. I sent a copy of the wage assignment to his former employer, low and behold! I received a check on the 16th! Half a months payment! Wow!!!

ATTN DEAR READER: I'm sorry if this mornings posting was removed before you had a chance to read it. I decided there is certain information I need to protect until court on the 8th. I'll repost right after the hearing. Bill Connearney the arrogant, self centered s.o.b. has a surprise coming. I don't want him to know till the end. Will post it here on the 8th! :)

"NARCISSISTS AND RULES/LAWS THEY IGNORE"

***The following statement is attached to papers filed in an upcoming hearing in which I'm seeking $10,+++ in back support that Bill Connearney illegally withheld over a period of 2 years. Mainly this paper says a lot re: his character (or lack thereof). The Narcissistic personality seems to think they can follow or ignore rules/laws as they choose. He spent so much time putting me down. While I was typing this out, the fact he's an habitual liar jumps out at me repeatedly. It reinforces that I shouldn't ever allow anything he said to occupy space in my brain. As the years passed, I did evolve into someone I didn't like at times. I had a short fuse with Bill and the smallest issue could set me off in a huge way. Looking back, all the years of being devalued, ignored, abused, minimized, had consequences. For too long, I kept pushing my own thoughts, needs, and desires to the bottom of the pile. I should never have accepted that from Bill or anyone. Apparently my subconscious knew all along it was bullshit! Obviously, my frustrations stayed deep inside building up over time. Like a closet that can only hold so much stuff, years of held back emotions wouldn't be denied.**** Mr. Connearney says I agreed to a $400 a month fee re: the Chrysler. This is untrue. I agreed to give him a credit since he was paying the car loan at the time. Mr. Connearney forfeited that credit when he illegally cashed out community property in September of 2011 and paid off the same car loan. He also illegally signed my name to tax returns for 2011 to escape the tax penalty for the early cash out. Even though I had no benefit/profit/ or knowledge of the money at the time. I was unaware of what he'd done till the following spring when he had to disclose these facts in court documents. Mr. Connearney hasn't paid me court ordered spousal support since April 2013. He mailed me a paper on 4/17 claiming illness before cashing in the remaining 401k account, paying off his debt and moving to Mass. His Facebook page shows his intentions of relocating to MA as early as Jan 2013. In Jan 2013 his financial statement filed with the court shows debt of nearly $30,000 yet in a newer statement he mailed to me in June of this year, his debt is listed at $6,000 ? How else did he pay off his debt but, with money from the 401k account that as per this courts order and judgement belonged in part to me. Mr. Connearney sent one check in the amount of $10,000 at the end of May. He still owes me $17,314 per this courts order on Jan 4th of this year. Mr. Connearney has thumbed his nose up at the court. Ignoring several directives to pay me. Now he's relocated back to MA. Apparently, based on him no longer paying the Spousal support ordered, he assumes he's escaped this courts judgement and jurisdiction. He received credit towards half the community debt yet, he's once again cashed out and used community funds to pay off that debt! Meanwhile, I'm owed the majority of the property settlement I was granted in this courtroom. It seems Mr. Connearney and only Mr. Connearney decides which financial obligations he'll honor and pay off. I tracked down his new employer when he first left CA. it was in fact Ricoh USA which is country wide. On May 17th of this year I faxed the wage assignment signed by this court to the head of that dept. when I called 6 days later to follow up, I was informed that the computer showed him as a former employee. Mr. Connearney never worked for Ricoh during our marriage though he coveted employment with them for many years. It is my contention that Mr. Connearney quit his new position in order to escape from the wage assignment order. If Mr. Connearney was sick, as he claims to be in the statement mailed to me on April 15th, why didn't he bring that to the courts attention on April 3rd when he tried for the third time to have this court modify the support order? I assume a Dr made the diagnosis? Mr. Connearney cancelled my car insurance on 5/9/13 which he received a $500 credit for from this court in the divorce settlement. Insurance he was ordered to provide until Dec 2013. He in fact received a $500 refund from the insurance company upon the cancellation of the policy. Contrary to the courts orders, Mr. Connearney had informed me in Feb of 2013 that in order to receive my own policy, I'd in fact have to pay for it and be reimbursed by him after the fact. I was quoted a cost of $500. by the adjuster. Given my financial situation, this was not possible. Mr. Connearney claims he shouldn't have to pay back support for the months of Feb 2011-Aug2011 since I had moved in with him. I submit to this court the following true facts: 1) Mr. Connearney called me the night of Feb 4 2011. I'd just been granted the support order of $1599/month. He stated that he'd be unable to pay me and maintain his apt. He suggested that I move in, we cancel the divorce, and work together to try and get Ahmi back. He further stated that he'd consider the $1599 support order payment towards "your room and board." 2) Despite his many requests, I never cancelled the divorce papers because I didn't really trust Mr. Connearney. As it turns out he was secretly recording conversations between the two of us, talking behind my back to the social worker, etc... His sole motivation the Spring and Summer of 2011 apparently was trying to find a way out of paying the support order. I did credit him $1200 a month for this time period in my filing for arrearage. 3) He tried to kill me in May 2011. The only reason I remained after that incident was the Drs orders to stay off my leg for what turned out to be 3 months due to a torn ACL and Meniscus. I had a severe devastating injury. I simply had no where else to go. Since he'd cancelled my health insurance effective Jan 2011 I also went months w/out an MRI or proper medical care. I went to the neighborhood clinic once a month and although the Dr. did the best she could re: my diagnosis and care, it was hampered by the fact she had no diagnostic tools available. Mr. Connearney refused to pay for the bills that were accumulated from this time period. Nearly 3,500 including the ambulance. He later said I should have refused the EMTs and Police when they suggested taking me to the hospital. Even though my leg had a serious injury and would not support me following his attempt on my life. Which he was arrested for that morning. 3) Mr. Connearney further states I'm not entitled to the support because I didn't seek employment. This is another false statement. I had in fact been hired towards the end of March 2011 as a substitute teacher by HeadStart. The last thing that was required before active employment was a physical examination. Obtaining one was hampered by his cancellation of my health insurance at the start of 2011. After his attempt on my life in early May 2011 I was under strict Drs. orders to stay off my leg. My injury was severe and it took months to heal. I was unable to walk, bend, stretch, run, etc... for 6 months without crutches and/or a leg brace due exclusively to the actions of Mr. William Francis Connearney ! I'm traveling to MA in a weeks time (7/16/13) to file documents with the MA courts. It is my intention that Mr. Connearney be held accountable for his debt to me. I pray this courts assistance to that end through it's granting of a judgement in my favor. I swear under penalty of perjury, under the laws of the state of California, the statements above are the truth.

"DECEIT, LIES, ABUSE, VIA BILL CONNEARNEY"

Jan 2011 I filed for divorce and for a support order. I was desperately trying to get my girl back and doing whatever the wrecker had told me towards that end. It was all for nothing. I found out later, the bitch already had her plan in place. She was a two faced backstabbing bitch who didn't have the decency to be honest and up front with me. Anyways, that's all water under the bridge and covered elsewhere so, back to Bill. In early Feb 2011 I was granted an order of support. Bill was stunned! I actually thought he was going to cry. He'd been sure I'd be turned down. It was obvious he'd never considered for a moment that I'd get a judgement. That night he called me and says, "look there's no way I can afford to pay you and my rent. Come move in, we'll cancel the divorce, and work together to try and get Ahmi back. I'll consider the $1599. room and board." Although, there was a part of me that knew it wasn't a good idea. I'd just lost her officially in court about a week earlier. I had a lot of resentment towards Bill re: the loss. I feared the anger and resentment would overtake me eventually. Resulting in an explosive situation. There was another side of me that thought, maybe it would help to be around someone who knew and (supposedly) loved her. I was slipping into the darkest cave of depression by this time. The grief was overwhelming. I desperately needed someone to validate and understand my pain. So, in the end, I let him talk me into it. His understanding and support lasted all of 2 weeks! I was slipping deeper and deeper into a black hole. I couldn't shower, eat, sleep. All I could do was cry. I wondered often, how the hell the tears continued to fall. Anyways, Bills supportive statement? "Suck it up and move on!" Pretty much a cold hearted bastard right? Believe it or not, he was just getting started! I would find out a year later, that he secretly recorded a conversation that took place right after I moved in. On the tape I'm crying and repeating over and over, "please get my baby back..." Bill is feeding me questions, "what are you going to do if I don't? What was it you said? Did you say you'd shoot me in the head?" I'd just suffered the devastating loss of my girl and this devious, piece of shit is exploiting my grief, putting words in my mouth, secretly recording the conversation! This is the tape he'd play more than a year later in court to get his bullshit order of protection! Anyways, during this same time period he began bugging me about canceling the papers. Something I kept putting off. Turns out that was the smartest decision on my part. Looking back, I have no doubt whatsoever that had I cancelled those papers, he'd have been at the courthouse the day after refiling as the petitioner! It drove him up the wall that I was the petitioner and not him. Bill always wants to be in control. It stuck in his gut that he had to file as Respondent. No matter if he was filing an action or answering mine. He even wrote it the wrong way on one set of papers and the court made him correct it. Knowing him like I do, that absolutely was very hard for him to swallow! For the first time in 23 years, I was in the drivers seat. He wasn't happy about it. Just how pissed off he was would soon be revealed. His attempt to kill me was coming soon. I'm sure however, even before that, right from the start. He asked me to move in and already had a plan in mind to destroy me. All because I had the nerve to seek an order of support from the court and worst of all, it was granted!

"THE TRUTH IS THE TRUTH"

***WARNING STRONG LANGUAGE*** In all the years that Bill Connearney and I were together, he never took responsibility for his words or behavior. In Bill's world, there's no owning or apologizing. Instead apparently, you deny that it ever happened. Words of denial can rewrite the past. Wow! If it only were that easy! There's a few things I'd erase from my history if it only worked that way. I however, live in a true reality. I own my screw ups and bad choices. Good and bad, my past is my past. I recently was told Bill denied ever choking me. Accordingly, he never put his hands around my throat. Bill Connearney, you're a F@CKING scumbag LIAR! I was severely depressed. Devestated over the loss of MY girl. You were tired of me crying and grieving. You were telling me to leave at 2:30 in the morning. I was begging at least 5x for you to leave me alone. I tried to get a cigarette and go out onto the balcony to get away from you. When I was in the kitchen you wrapped your hands around my throat and tried to crush my windpipe with your thumbs! You took me to the floor and I tried to kick up at you, attempting to breathe. That's when you knelt on my right knee, forced it the wrong way into the floor, tearing my ACL and Meniscus. You came very close to taking my life. If I hadn't dug my nails into you out of desperation, I'd be dead! You know it, and I know it! You're a dirty F@CKING liar! The fact that you're lying about it, doesn't change it! Under penalty of Perjury and lawsuit, I declare the following to be the absolute truth! BILL CONNEARNEY TRIED TO KILL ME IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS OF MAY 5, 2011. He put his hands around my throat and attempted to crush my windpipe with his thumbs! He caused a horrible injury to my leg that took months to heal. The only reason I'm alive is my will to live kicked in at the last moment. I dug my nails into him and wouldn't let go. Bill Connearney you're an abusive, lying, scumbag, waste of life, attempted murderer! We reap what we sow. The time is coming very, very soon! Burn in hell!

"WAS IT ALL ME?"

When I think back on all the red flags over the years, I wonder what the hell I was thinking. I'm continuing to work on myself. Finding the answers inside of me. I acknowledge putting up with his crap all the years that I did tells me I still have work to do. We split for the final time in September of 2011. I've done a lot of contemplating, grieving, healing, and talking since then. My therapist was right the day he said to me, "we marry what we know." I'd never considered till that moment the similarities between Bill and my Mother! One thing I've learned and am very proud of, I'll never allow anyone to disrespect me like that again. I can 100% say that anyone who puts their hands on me is going straight to jail! I guess that's the silver lining I can walk away with. Ever since he blackened my eyes in September of 2009, I'd known that we were done. I won't go into it here but, I had my reasons for not throwing his ass in jail that night. For covering up what he'd done to me. Those who've read my original blog, Child Punishing Service, know the story and the price I paid. Anyways, all the put downs, criticism, and devaluing took their toll over time of course. I'd actually catch myself wondering if he was right. Was I evil? Were his ugly words accurate? NO!! He's a defective human being who can't accept/own up to his own shortcomings. I've learned and come to accept, he puts everything on others because to accept any responsibility is beyond him. I sometimes think about the love I used to feel. I think about the sweet, loving, special things he did over the years and how he wiped it all away with his diabolical, abusive, horrific behavior the last 2 and 1/2 years. I'm starting to realize, the moments of sadness these days aren't about Bill. It's the loss of what was supposed to be. I think that's a huge step for me. With each passing day I believe/accept, it takes two! All I ever asked for was validation, respect, and to come 1st half the time, that's not a lot! Bill Connearney, I pity you. You were wrong! All the bad things you would say about me, look in the mirror and repeat! You're EVIL, ABUSIVE, SELFISH, AND A LIAR! Anyone who values money above all, is an empty shell of a being! You're not a man! We don't erase or change the past through denial! You did try to kill me in the early morning hours of 5/5/2011! You put your hands around my throat, cut off my air flow, and tried to crush my windpipe with your thumbs! You're a BULL SHIT LIAR! I hope you rot in HELL!

"THE EVIL INSIDE"

This next posting jumps 23 years into the present. I'd thought to tell my story in an ordered fashion however, "the best laid plans..." Please forgive my jump ahead. The next few postings will be based on more recent events. I'm also going to mention incidents that occurred as they pertain to the posting. Although some I will elaborate on at a later time. So Bill moved out 8/1/10. Most weekends he still came to take Ahmi and the dogs to the beach. She looked forward to it all week. Although he sometimes came by to read her bedtime stories and tuck her in during the week, Saturday was her, "special time w/ Daddy." I was glad he did this. It was a routine she counted on, it was some continuity during a very confusing time for her. She loved Bill and he seemed to care about her. Until that late summer, early fall in 2010, she'd thrived having 2 parents who doted on her, a routine she counted on, and all the love and attention she needed. Having studied child development in school, I know that, it is important that children have both a Mom and Dad involved in their lives. Dads contribute to their children's lives in a much different but, equally important way than Moms do. Research has shown children who have no Dad involved in their upbringing are at greater risk for, delinquency, drug use, teenage pregnancy https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/usermanuals/fatherhood/chaptertwo.cfm Anyways, I'd always respected how Ahmi felt about Bill and the relationship she had w/ him. Never talked negative about him, etc... Not long after he moved out, I became aware that in response to Ahmi's natural questions re: him not living with us anymore, he was telling her, "it's because Mommy is evil that I can't live with you baby." What kind of a selfish bastard say's things like that to a 3 year old? Despite my repeated requests that he not put her in the middle, that he stop saying inappropriate things to her, he wouldn't. His mouth vomiting bullshit was apparently more important than what was best for Ahmi. One weekend he was mad at me and didn't show to pick her up. She didn't say much but, was very quiet. As the weekend went on, I could see her pain. She was easily moved to tears which was very unlike her. On Sunday I tried and tried to call Bill. He refused to answer the phone until late afternoon. I told him it really sucked that he was punishing Ahmi because he was mad at me. I didn't have to speak to him or even look at him. He just couldn't get it that he was punishing Ahmi. That she was hurting. All the selfish bastard could say was that he was p.o'd at me. That it had "nothing to do with Ahmi." Yet, he professed to love her so much! SMUCK! I hated him for hurting her like that! Later when we lost her, she'd repeated his "Mommy's evil statements" to the social worker, he acknowledged to them it hadn't been right to say that but, he didn't mean it or care! He said what they expected him to say, not what he believed! Typical Bill Connearney always putting his wants and needs at the top of the priority list!

"GETTING MARRIED"

So Bill moves to San Diego to join the Navy and time moves on. During those years I broke it off with Chris's dad and was going it alone. A month before Chris's 5th birthday, Bill came home on leave. We met up with each other and soon were spending all of our free time together. He's home for 2 weeks and it passes in a blur! During this time things moved way faster than they otherwise should have. He said he loved me and wanted me to marry him. I didn't say it back at first but, by the end of his leave I had. We planned that the following August, eleven months away, I'd fly out and visit him in San Diego. One huge concern I had, he'd stated that he wasn't ready for kids. Chris and I were a package deal. I didn't really see it going anywhere. He returns to his life in San Diego way too soon but, life goes on. We write and talk on the phone. Sometime within the first two weeks he calls and asks me to hear him out before responding. He's decided we shouldn't wait. That we should get married right away. That he misses me and wants me to be with him. I tell him "I'm sorry but, no. Chris is still part of the deal and you said you aren't ready for the responsibility." He says, he's done some thinking and he's changed his mind. I put him off for a few days. Looking back, I wished I'd stood my ground. I wish I'd noticed how he stressed getting more money from the Navy. In hindsight, I believe that was the inspiration for his "change of heart." We represented dollar signs. Maybe he had other factors in mind also. However, as I'd come to know, money means everything to Bill! Eventually I let myself be talked into it. I said yes and began to make plans for Chris and I to move from Massachusetts to San Diego. I had a little more than a month. It was the beginning of October. We'd be leaving on November 10th.

"THE BEGINNING"

Bill and I grew up in the same neighborhood. As kids we didn't get along. This was mainly because of an Incident that happened the year he was a 5th grader and our bus monitor. I was a year behind him and could be a smart ass like most kids that age. One day after school instead of sitting in my seat, I was up talking to friends. He asked me to take my seat and I mouthed off before eventually doing it. I got off at my usual stop and Bill who usually rode the final two stops, also left the bus. When the bus pulled away he slapped me in the face causing my glasses to fall off my face, into the street where they broke. My parent's filed a lawsuit for the cost of replacement. He had to do community service to pay for the glasses and proceeded to hate me for the next five years. I was actually best friends with his younger sister and liked his brother for a time. However, he couldn't see us together or there'd be grief! Soon after I turned fifteen I ran away from home and soon after that, things got names better between us. He stopped chasing me off, calling me names, basically he forgave and stopped being a bully. Bill worked with my sons Dad back then and his sister was Chris's godmother so we saw each other more often. One day, I was sitting in their living room nursing Chris. I heard the front door open and then, Bill's voice asking Nancy if the baby was there. He got really excited, came rushing into the living room. He was embarrassed to find me in the middle of feeding Chris. It was such a contrast to his normal persona, I thought it sweet to see a different side of him. It was while watching him talk baby talk to my son that, the seeds of a secret crush were planted. A crush I'd keep to myself for five years.

" 6 SURE SIGNS OF NARCISSISM"

Resolution, Not Conflict The guide to problem-solving. by Susan Heitler, Ph.D.
  *** Comments between the ***are my own. If you'd like to read more on Narcissism, a link to the complete article is at the end of the posting.  Sections of "6 Sure Signs Of Narcissism" used with permission of the Author Susan Heitler Ph.D. Much thanks and appreciation.
 
To identify narcissism a good place to start is with clarity about what healthy personal and social functioning look like. The bottom line is that healthy folks are able to sustain both selfishness and altruism. Emotionally healthy functioning is characterized by ability to hear your own concerns, thoughts, and feelings and also to be responsive to others’ concerns. .

 
Narcissistic folks often are very generous. They may, for instance, give away large sums of money to charity.  Generous giving makes the giver feel good and also feels appropriate, like "the right" thing to do.  At the same time, when there is a situation in which someone who tends toward narcissism wants something, and that desire is in conflict with what someone else wants, that's when the selfish side takes over.

 
*** My wants and needs never came first in all the years we were together. It doesn't say much for me that I put up with it. I'm still working on that. I can say that my eyes are open. My spirit is strong. I never knew the behavior I came to accept as normal had a name. I do now. I will never allow a Narcissistic personality to poison my life again!  One thing I do know these days, I'm a valuable person. I deserve respect. I have a voice***

                                 THE QUIZ
Sign #1:  UNILATERAL LISTENING
 
What I want is all that matters. When we make decisions together, what you want, your concerns, your feelings, these are mere whispers, inconveniences and irrelevancies. When we discuss issues, my opinions are right. Yours are wrong or else of minimal importance. If you expect to have input, you are undermining me.                                                  Instead of listening in order to be responsive, narcissistic listening listens to dismiss, negate, ignore, minimize, denigrate or otherwise render irrelevant other people’s concerns. One specific indicator: frequent responses that begin with "But....", which is linguistically a backspace-delete key.

  Score:  0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
  BILLS SCORE: 8
 
***Looking back the consistent theme was Bill's wants and needs always came first. I chalked it up to selfishness. Which of course, isn't any more acceptable in a healthy relationship. Looking back, I realize I allowed and or put up with behaviors that I should have walked away from a long time ago. Honestly I think it was part fantasy. Lying to myself was easier than making a change. Being alone. I kept thinking, one day he'd magically change. That he'd actually put my needs and wants before his own. Of course that day never came. My awesome Therapist told me, "it's a myth that girls marry their Dads. We actually are drawn to what we're familiar with. What we're used to". That was the first time I realized, I'd married my Mother".***

  Sign #2 IT'S ALL ABOUT ME!
 
I know more, I know better, I’m more interesting, When we talk, it’s mostly about me. In conversations, I take up most of the air time. Maybe that's why people say I suck up all the air in a room. When I want something, I need to have it. Never mind how you feel about it; it’s all about me.  I’m big and important and you are merely also here, mostly to do things for me, like a third arm.
  Narcissistic people are sometimes, and even often, generous. The difficulty with trusting a narcissist to take actions that are sympathetic to your interests comes at the times when what they want is contrary to what someone else wants. Odds are that at these times they will act in a manner that is selfish, that is, responsive only to their own concerns.

  Score:  0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
  BILL'S SCORE: 10
 
***Over the years he charged a MOUNTAIN of debt. Any time I'd ask him to cut down on the spending. Hoping in the early years that we'd have our own home, he'd tune me out, continue on with what he wanted. I worked throughout our marriage and he took half of whatever I made as "rent". Yet. He "paid the majority of the bills. Don't worry about it." One example, he'd been given a Ball Python from someone. Well he decided that the snake was too small. That he really wanted a bigger snake. He started looking at burmese Pythons. I expressed my fear to him. At the time, we lived in a small apartment. I was scared of big snakes and didn't want to live with one in close quarters. I came home from work one day and noticed there was a snake in the cage that was huge! He tried at first to say it had grown. I was an adult not a little kid he could lie to.
  He'd gone out and bought the thing despite what I'd said. At one point I think there were 8 snakes. One was about 12 feet. One was 10 feet. The others were smaller and different breeds. He had a Columbian Red Tail Boa with a very sensitive stomach. This snake would regurgitate and  it was the raunchiest, strongest, most disgusting odor EVER! It would reek through the house. That was the worst! I have a very sensitive nose. I can't handle foul odors. I'd call him and he'd try to stop at home and clean it up but, many times he'd be working out of the area and I'd be stuck with the stench till he came home from work. He also would tell wild stories when we were with others. I knew many times he was exaggerating. You couldn't call him on it or change the subject, that brought out the anger. ***

  Sign #3: THE RULES DON'T APPLY TO ME:
 
I can have affairs, cut into a line where others are waiting, cheat on my taxes, and ignore rules that get in the way of my doing what I want.. Rules are for other people to follow. Narcissists suffer from what I call Tall Man Syndrome. They experience themselves as above others, so the rules don't apply to them.

  Score:  0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
  BILLS SCORE: 8
 
***He's not blatant in this however two ex. come to mind. Right after we split the final time, he cashed out one of the retirement accounts, paid off 2 car loans. Never gave me a cent. Even though I was homeless and living in my car. He never said a word. He continued to subtract the $400 a month credit I'd allowed him for the car loan for more than a year after. When I became aware of the facts and asked for the full amount ordered by the court, he just ignored me. I told him no less than 5x he was not to include me on his tax return in Feb 2012. I had no reportable income that year. To reduce his tax penalty, he did anyways. Going so far as to sign my name electronically to the returns! He holds money above all and definitely will ignore or break any rules that threaten what's "his".***

  Sign #4: YOUR CONCERNS ARE REALLY CRITICISMS' OF ME AND, I HATE BEING CRITICIZED:
 
If you insist on my listening and taking your concerns seriously I’m likely to get mad. Criticism hurts. I can criticize others, and often do, but if you criticize me you’re hurting my feelings so I’ll hurt you back. Narcissists paradoxically manifest an inflated idea of their own importance, yet are quick to feel deflated by negative feedback.  In addition, because they think everything is about them, they hear others’ attempts to talk about personal feelings as veiled criticisms of themselves. Taking others' concerns as personal criticism is called personalizing. E.g., If she says "I'm feeling lonely," her narcissistic friend will hear, "You don't spend enough time with me."
  Score:  0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
  BILLS SCORE: 8
 
***Anytime I'd try to talk to him about my feelings. I remember a typical ruse he'd use. I'd make a statement re: my feelings on an issue, he'd respond with a harshly, critical statement re: himself. Of course, it was not even close to what I'd said a minute before. Looking back, I can see that it was his diversionary ploy to derail conversations. He used it often***

  Sign #5: WHEN THINGS GO WRONG BETWEEN US, IT'S ALWAYS YOUR FAULT.
   
I can’t be expected to apologize or to admit blame. I’m above others and above reproach. You shouldn’t have...Don’t threaten me with expecting me to say how I’ve contributed to a problem or I’ll get mad at you. Unwillingness to take responsibility for mistakes goes hand-in-hand with quickness to blame.  This trait may come from confusing the part with the whole. If I've done one thing that's not right, then I must be all bad. That's also all-or-nothing thinking.

  Score:  0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
  BILLS SCORE: 10
 
***Never once has Bill accepted any responsibility for mistakes or apologize for anything. 100% true that somehow I caused his reaction or the problem. He never once said to me, "I'm sorry or I was wrong". There were times He'd be mad about something. He'd give me the silent treatment for 2 or 3 days. Then he'd get past it but, he wouldn't discuss it or my feelings. He'd say, "forget about it, I have". Nothing was ever dealt with. It was all stuffed in the proverbial closet. Eventually, so much stress, frustration, and resentment would build up, I'd end up exploding like a stick of Dynamite. Of course, this was because I was simply a crazy bitch. He is perfect at playing the victim.***

  Sign #6: IF I'M ANGRY, IT'S YOUR FAULT
  
You made me mad. You didn’t listen to me. You criticized me. You’re trying to control me. Your view is wrong.  So you need to apologize, not me. "It’s never my fault if things didn’t go well. I’m not responsible for the problem. Someone else is. I’m not responsible either for my anger. If I’m mad that’s your fault."  Narcissists may seem generally quite socially agile.  At the same time, they also can be quick to anger, and when they do, will immediately blame their anger on others. Narcissists just tend to be hyper-sensitive about feeling controlled.  Any request therefore to a narcissist is at risk for triggering irritation. Asking a narcissist to do something your way rather than theirs is particularly likely to sound to them like you are telling them what to do. Their anger in response then, of course, is your fault.

  Score: 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
  BILLS SCORE: 9
  ***It always seems that when Bill feels someone is trying to control him, he'll act and make decisions that are impulsive and irrational. At these times, any attempt or plea to talk for a moment, is met with a cold, stony, silence that defeats you***
   TOTAL SCORE: 53
The interpretations below are based on clinical hunches, not any scientific testing.

     5-10 probably indicate normal human fallibilities with room for improvement.
  10 to 20  would indicate too much narcissism in your habits.
  30 to 40 spells significant narcissistic habits that probably do not serve you well.
  40 to 60 would indicate to me severe problems with narcissism.
  In her article the Author lists ways one might deal with the Narcissist. She also recommends that the Narcissist make "changes in their habits and or behavior..."
 
***IMO I don't see how a Narcissist would ever be motivated to change any of their behaviors. Seems to me, someone must admit there's a problem before they can make changes. In my experience, there was never an understanding that his behaviors were a problem. If the behaviors above are ingrained so deeply into someone's personality, wouldn't any thought of change go against everything they stand for? Before I knew there was a term for what I lived with, I waited for a change, it never came.***


   To learn more or to read the complete article re: 6 signs of Narcissism click the link below.

   Source:<a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201210/are-you-narcissist-6-sure-signs-narcissism"></a>"http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201210/are-you-narcissist-6-sure-signs-narcissism