"IT'S ALL ABOUT THE CONTROL"

It's a paradox I've never understood, regarding the type of control that Bill clings to. He was not jealous or possesive during our marriage. He never checked my phone, questioned me, etc... However, when it came to money, and/or major life decisions, he alone was in control. He made some major life decisions with no interest in my thoughts or opinions. For example, his bright idea one year after attending Ricoh school in LA for 2 weeks. He comes home and announces that he has a job offer from a classmate. This guy apparently owns his own business in the high desert. He's made some lofty promises regarding potential salary. He's made an offer that's too good to refuse, blah, blah, blah... Bill was supposedly going to make all this money. It was too great to pass up, yeah, yeah, yeah. He wouldn't listen to anything I had to say. He didn't care that his company had just spent thousands of dollars on the school he'd just attended. It was futile trying to have a mature conversation about it. He pretty much said, he didn't care what I did, he was going. If I didn't like it or agree, "there's the door." So we spend all this money on his impulsive whim. Pack up and move approx 3 and 1/2 hours North. For his "golden opportunity". It didn't take long for him to realize, he'd made a huge mistake! He was rehired by IKON w/in 2 months! Unfortunately it was at the branch in San Bernadino. Which was approx a 30-45 minute ride down the mountain pass that led away from the hell we were now trapped in!! This took place during the summer of 1993 till the following spring. Luckily, just as he had an offer from his former boss in San Diego, an insurance settlement I'd been expecting came through. Thousands of dollars on a hairbrained scheme. Because God forbid, Bill take the time to consider a decision and communicate as an adult rather than an impulsive jackass! Always, He has this obsessive need to be in complete control. When he got an idea into his head, there was no discussion, no consideration of any point of view but, his own. God forbid someone with common sense actually try to encourage him to act as an adult and consider all sides of a decision. Then again, wouldn't happen. When he gets a thought into his mind, he becomes almost manic. As if he needs to act quickly before something intefers with his chosen plan and prevents it from happening somehow. As I read over this posting, it makes complete sense that Bill Connearney acted the way he did. He's always valued money and possesions above all else. So it does make sense that he'd be a control freak re: money. He's an empty shell of a human being. I pity him.

"MY WAY OR HIGHWAY part 1"

In the early 90's we lived in a townhome in Spring Valley, CA. It was a small complex and we became good friends with the original managers. In the late spring of 1993 Bill's company sent him to Ricoh school for the week in Orange county. Something that happened 4 or 5 times a year. This particular time he came home with a life changing plan re: a fellow student he'd met that week. It seemed the guy had a company in the high dessert approx 190 miles North of San Diego. He'd filled Bill's head with nonsense! "Come work for me. You'll make more money, yada yada blah blah." Bill all on his own, spur of the moment decides that he's going to run with it! Screw the company that had paid thousands of dollars training him over the years. That had given him a chance when he got out of the Navy. The company that he was doing well at. That was stable and well known. There was no discussion about it. He and he alone decided he was going to accept the position and that was that! I know, I should have left his ass right then. Hindsight is 20/20. Anyways, he moves up there in May or June. I joined him at the beginning of August. By the time I moved up there, he'd realized the guy had talked a lot of bullshit! His promises were nothing but, empty words! He in fact was back with his original company which luckily had a location in the area. My whole point is, the high desert sucked! It was either too freaking hot or miserable cold. It's a harsh, horrible environment and IMO people who live there are soft in the head! Luckily he was still in touch with his former boss in San Diego. With my encouragement he let him know of his desire to return to San Diego. That March he was informed of an opening and strings were pulled and upper management agreed he could have his old job back! Happy days! Luckily an insurance settlement had come through and I had the money to relocate us back to civilization. Yay seven months of hell were over! Thousands of dollars wasted on an impulsive scheme. Typical Bill Connearney act first think later. "Do what I want regardless if it's the right decision or not. Don't like it? There's the door."